Favouritism

FAVOURITISM!!! Are you guilty of it???

Many of us will admit that it's easier to feel the love of a smiling and sunny-natured child than one that is screaming and kicking or making a big fuss.

One study by a UK company noted that there is a 13% of parents admitting to having a favourite child. In US, a 1/4 of parents showed favouritism, while in Australia a whooping 69% admitted in giving preferential treatment to one child. What about you???

According to the study, there are many reasons for favouring one child over the other. This may be because:-

1. he is more like you in looks / personality; and
2. you are his favourite parents; and
3. your child meets your expectations.

Dr Dirk Flower suggested that we parents should spend more time with the other child that we favour less. He also pointed out that all children and adults are different and are unique and we should not tall into the trap of comparing them, as this can hurt their self-esteem.

I must admit that I'm guilty of favouritism. Perhaps it is the guilt I felt towards Jonie, as I spent less time with her as she sleep with my in-laws and we can't get her to sleep with us. Furthermore, she lack so much in her speech development as my in-laws simply don't know what to talk to her or correct her of any mispronouciation. But I'm torn, on one hand I felt I should teach her more (in terms of behaviour / writing / speech) however on the other I'm unable to be stern to her. I just feel I "owe" her too much.

"Preferential treatment can be damaging to your child's esteem and it can turn into sibling rivalry and a competition for your attention, so AVOID going down that road." Dr Dirk Flower, Mother&Baby, May2010 issue.